it's funny how you described my life these past few months. i feel like parts of me are chipping away by the day. i'm stuck and do not know what to do again. i don't want to be the bigger person anymore. i don't want to overextend myself for people because i fear i'll lose the shallow glimpse of friendship, an escape from loneliness I see. even amongst people i feel so alone and out of place. school is even harsher. everybody almost knows everybody, and there's me that's desperately and pathetically seeking to build relationships that'll break this wall of loneliness around me. i won't stop if i keep typing lol 😂
I am reading this now on a hospital bed at the Accident and Emergency unit after my body collapsed from somatization disorder. I remember when I used to feel so overwhelmed in school especially when I have a group assignment to do. The brain fog, the decline in cognitive function, chronic pain and fatigue deprived me of giving my best and making me look like a fraud in class. I always get panic attacks whenever there is a group presentation, cos it means I will be exposed as a dumb student. I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way in the world. But anyways I was alone for 8 years.
it's funny how you described my life these past few months. i feel like parts of me are chipping away by the day. i'm stuck and do not know what to do again. i don't want to be the bigger person anymore. i don't want to overextend myself for people because i fear i'll lose the shallow glimpse of friendship, an escape from loneliness I see. even amongst people i feel so alone and out of place. school is even harsher. everybody almost knows everybody, and there's me that's desperately and pathetically seeking to build relationships that'll break this wall of loneliness around me. i won't stop if i keep typing lol 😂
Seun, I’m glad I was able to connect with you through this piece.🫂
"Sometimes, life feels too much like a chore. Can I survive this?" Is so real. You're not alone. The secret is to keep showing up. 🙂
Yes, definitely!🙂↕️
I am reading this now on a hospital bed at the Accident and Emergency unit after my body collapsed from somatization disorder. I remember when I used to feel so overwhelmed in school especially when I have a group assignment to do. The brain fog, the decline in cognitive function, chronic pain and fatigue deprived me of giving my best and making me look like a fraud in class. I always get panic attacks whenever there is a group presentation, cos it means I will be exposed as a dumb student. I am glad I am not the only one who feels this way in the world. But anyways I was alone for 8 years.
How are you now? Are you getting better at the hospital?
I have somatization disorder. It is a chronic pain. There is nothing like getting better 😂. But my body is a bit calmer
I have somatization disorder. It is a chronic pain. There is nothing like getting better 😂. But my body is a bit calmer
I’m sending hugs.🥺🫂
I’m so sorry to hear this.🥺
this was in many ways beautiful and surreal. thank you.